I waited patiently upon the Lord; *
he stooped to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the desolate pit, out of the mire and clay; * he set my feet upon a high cliff and made my footing sure.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God; *
many shall see, and stand in awe,
and put their trust in the Lord.
Happy are they who trust in the Lord! *
they do not resort to evil spirits or turn to false gods.
Great things are they that you have done, O Lord my God!
how great your wonders and your plans for us! *
there is none who can be compared with you.
Oh, that I could make them known and tell them! *
but they are more than I can count.
In sacrifice and offering you take no pleasure *
(you have given me ears to hear you);
Burnt-offering and sin-offering you have not required, *
and so I said, "Behold, I come.
In the roll of the book it is written concerning me: *
'I love to do your will, O my God;
your law is deep in my heart."'
I proclaimed righteousness in the great congregation; *
behold, I did not restrain my lips;
and that, O Lord, you know.
Your righteousness have I not hidden in my heart;
I have spoken of your faithfulness and your deliverance; *
I have not concealed your love and faithfulness from the great congregation.
You are the Lord;
do not withhold your compassion from me; *
let your love and your faithfulness keep me safe for ever.
Reflection Why should I attend Church?: Ruminations of a recently retired priest.
Last night I dipped my toe in a stream of holy water while attending Evening Prayer at Church of the Holy Faith. With one hand wielding his oxygen backpack Mark shuffled his way through the lighting of candles, took his place as officiant and asked me, the only other person present, “Are you familiar with Evening Prayer?” Nodding yes I asked, “Rite I or II?” Raising a solitary finger Mark began the service for two, “From the rising of the sun even to the going down of the same…”
A moment’s respite in the ancient words quickly gave way to raucous as my heart summoned my roiling head to rest rather than wrestle with the arcane sexist language. From the law written “deep in my heart” I heard, “Be still and know that I am God, born in the light of this well wrought poetry. Let the letters be ladders rather than stumbling blocks.“ Recalling a year with the great congregation from which only weeks ago I retired I heard myself “speak of your faithfulness,” promoting the practice of “putting our heads in our hearts.” Perhaps I should listen to my own counsel? Sighing I settled on the blue kneeler cushion. I am almost embarrassed to confess, I felt welcomed home.
“I waited patiently upon the Lord; he stooped to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the desolate pit, out of the mire and clay; he set my feet upon a high cliff and made my footing sure. He put a new song in my mouth…”
Like sweet honey slathered on a stone, the responsive reading of the psalms, the mingling of two voices saying the Magnificat and St. Simeon’s song silenced my head, sweetened my heart and set me to “depart in peace.”
Which stands me square in the wake of the question, “Why should I attend Church?” Excusing my hesitating head my heart sings, “Because Church is a holy “other” place. Unlike secular spaces construed to confirm my power, pleasure or position, Church puts me in my proper posture, a nameless creature among numberless others, knees bent before the Mystery, wrought by the work of the people (liturgia), that cannot be captured in words.”
The fact of the matter is this. It is I who is captured by words! “God he. God the Father. Thou. Thy. Mankind.” Rite I language. Why do I balk? Must the words be stumbling blocks? Rather than meeting each word as a rung on a soaring ladder, aping my ancestors my toes curl and cling to the fettle thing. Admitting I am mired in the clay of the desolate pit I cry, “O God, where can I go from here?”
Thanks be to the Psalmist’s song. “ I waited patiently upon the Lord; he stooped to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the desolate pit, out of the mire and clay; he set my feet upon a high cliff and made my footing sure. He put a new song in my mouth …”
Today I cease my search for a Church that looks, feels and speaks like me. Today I stop my futile attempts to feed my heart with reason when it craves mystery. The One, Holy and Living Mystery put a new song in my mouth and this is what I sing.
“I love to do your will, O my God; your law is deep in my heart. I proclaimed righteousness in the great congregation at Church of the Apostles. I did not restrain my lips… I have spoken of your faithfulness and your deliverance. I have not concealed your love from the people. Now it is time for me to find my proper place in the heart of a different great congregation and wait patiently to hear my new song.
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